MY GLENN BECK PIE TOSS FLOP

I knew attending an event that subjects one to being surrounded by hundreds of half-witted, hate-filled, raving lunatics would be an exercise in masochism. That's why I got high on the way over. Before picking up the cream pie. Because, if I was going to smush a cream pie into the face of the leader of a batshit crazy angry mob in the middle of that batshit crazy angry mob, I might as well be stoned. Some people operate better that way, especially when faced with the enormous stress of knowing that whenever their idiotic hero, their savior from such scourges as healthcare for the poor, mysterious "czars", and intelligent dialogue gets a cream pie to the face, someone was most certainly going to get their ass kicked.

But it was worth it I kept telling myself. Because if there is any son of a bitch in this country that deserves to get a pie tossed in his ugly, racist, fear mongering, hate-spewing mug, it's Glenn Beck. I was shocked no one had done it sooner. This is a guy whose made a career out of scaring the hell out of people, lying to them, and playing on their lowest emotions. A guy who feeds on the bigotry, ignorance, and xenophobia of poor American couch potatoes and whips it into a reactionary bloodlust. A guy who occasionally has to remind his followers NOT to go out and kill people (just yet) out of ...